


litvengers

by colorfulbucky



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), the young avengers for like 5 seconds
Genre: Gen, M/M, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-12 06:05:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11155797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colorfulbucky/pseuds/colorfulbucky
Summary: the avengers group chat





	litvengers

guyliner: whAt in THe fucK Is A JeLLO shOt

starkplug: a shot,,, but it's jello

guyliner: why waste perfectly fine alcohol jello can fuckin die

pizza slut: i feel a "back in my day" rant coming on

guyliner: you tryin me slut

bi(tch): jello isn't that bad

guyliner: shut up steven you only have good taste in men

bi(tch): turn on your location and fighT

guyliner: come at me bitch

guyliner: do it

guyliner: you won't

bi(tch): be ready to catch these hands

wanda!: and they say romance is dead

  
**\-----**

  
mama spider: anyone got a bong i can borrow clint broke mine

guyliner: kill him

pizza slut: jesus take the wheel

bi(tch): i gotchu

mama spider: i knew you were useful for more than looking pretty rogers

guyliner: can you elaborate on what that is

starkplug: i think you already know barnes

pizza slut: :) 8=======D O:

starkplug: ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)

mama spider: OHMY GOD

mama spider: STEVE JUST GAVE ME A FUCKIN DICK SHAPED BONG

guyliner: heh

starkplug: THAT HEH WAS THE MOST OMINOUS THING I'M????

guyliner: i fucked steve with that bong one time

bi(tch): shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

wanda!: nat just screamed really loudly what

wanda!: i just read the chat and im refunding our friendship james

guyliner: all sales are final

bi(tch): unfortunately

wanda!: da mni t

**  
\-----**

  
wanda!: THERE'S AN ICE CREAM TRUCK OUTSIDE

guyliner: SIGN ME THE FUCK UP

wanda!: JAMES OH MY GOD

guyliner: I C E  C R E A M

bi(tch): IM ABOUT TO DO SOMETHING RECKLESS

baby spider: IT REALLY IS A BAD IDEA CAPTAIN ROGERS

bi(tch): YA YEET

bird man B;): STARK GIVE ME MY MONEY

starkplug: FUCJ YOU

mama spider: WHAT IS GOING ON

wanda!: JAMES JUMPED OUT OF HIS AND STEVE'S WINDOW AND ONE OF THE SUITS SAVED HIM FROM MORTAL DOOM AND STEVE USED PETER'S WEBS TO GET DOWN HERE

bird man B;): AND STARK OWES ME 100 BUCKS BC WE BET ON HOW LONG IT WOULD TAKE FOR STEVE TO DO SOMETHING RECKLESS WITH SPIDEY'S WEBS AND I WON

starkplug: EAT MY D IVK

bi(tch): the lady gave me a red white and blue popsicle i feel special

guyliner: BABY YOU'RE SO PURE WHY ARE YOU WITH TRASH LIKE ME

mama spider: this is the guy who owns a dick shaped bong he ain't pure

bi(tch): (((((she onto me)))))

**  
\-----**

  
pizza slut: *video attached of sam spraying steve with a spray bottle and saying be gone thot*

pizza slut: HELP IM DYINT

starkplug: HE'S LIKE A CAT IM CRUING

king kitty: yo

mama spider: why do you only show up when we mention cats

king kitty: bc every other topic is irrelevant

wanda!: big mood

guyliner: deadass steve's phone is gonna be soaked

starkplug: have you tried turning it on and off

starkplug: in some countries people take offense when prosthetic robot arms are chucked at their head

**  
\-----**

  
guyliner: hey baby

guyliner: where are youu

guyliner: i wanna fuck

guyliner: cmon stevie

guyliner: this arm sucks for jacking off why do you like it so much

guyliner: look *video attached*

guyliner: don't leave me hanging doll

guyliner: want you to suck me off

bi(tch): JAMES BUCHANAN

bi(tch): THIS IS A GROUP CHAT

wanda!: IM SV REAMING

baby spider: oh my god

mama spider: J A M E S

mama spider: YOU TAINTED MY CHILD

mama spider: A P O L O G I Z E

guyliner: oops

guyliner: im too horny to give a shit

mama spider: YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKBOY

guyliner: mhmm interesting

guyliner: baby

bi(tch): im coming

guyliner: wait until you get here sweetheart ;)

mama spider: wait so that's why steve calls you bucky

bird man B;): D E L E TE

**  
\-----**

  
starkplug: i need assistance

bi(tch): wha

starkplug: i um

guyliner: you um

starkplug: i have a fidget spinner stuck in my ass

guyliner: PFFWHSUVWLPFS

bi(tch): AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

starkplug: btw parker

baby spider: mr. stark

starkplug: i found your fidget spinner

baby spider: i have to go im gonna be late for school

wanda!: it's summer

baby spider: i have TO GO im gonna BE LATE for SCHOOL

mama spider: STARK YOU BETTER APOLOGIZE TO MY BABY

starkplug: please don't kill me until i have this problem sorted out

bird man B;): this gc disgusts me

pizza slut: just the group chat?

guyliner: AHGOGEFNRSTHEULXV

**  
\-----**

  
starkplug: R O G E R S

bi(tch): yes?

starkplug: DON'T PLAY THE DUMB BLONDE ACT

starkplug: I KNOW YOU REPLACED MY SHAMPOO WITH WATER RESISTANT LUBE

bi(tch): i do not even own water resistant lubricant anthony as james and i are too large to have intercourse in the bathing facilities

guyliner: tis true

starkplug: I'LL STOP PLAYING PARTY IN THE USA WHENEVER YOU WALK INTO A ROOM I PROMISE JUST PLEASE GIVE ME MY SHAMPOO BACK

bi(tch): hmmm

starkplug: AND I'LL MAKE YOUR SHOWER BIGGER SO YOU AND BARNES CAN HAVE SHOWER SEX

bi(tch): deal

**  
\-----**

  
starkplug: this is an intervention

starkplug: barnes needs to stop saying pow whenever he shoots someone

guyliner: fUc k YoU

mama spider: james no

guyliner: JAMES YES

guyliner: poW POW POW

guyliner: P O W

pizza slut: stop saying pow or im taking away your lucky privileges

guyliner: pow is the most annoying onomatopoeia fuckin gross

**  
\-----**

  
starkplug: im just gonna say what we're all thinking

starkplug: shirts are mandatory for super soldiers in the communal area

starkplug: my masculinity is threatened

guyliner: smh i sent you all nudes be happy im not walking around without boxers on

guyliner: u know what

baby spider: mommy the big scary gay man is naked and im confused

mama spider: JAMES

mama spider: COVER YOUR DICK BEFORE I CUT IT OFF

bi(tch): :(

mama spider: IM SORRY I WON'T CUT HIS DICK OFF I'LL PIERCE IT VERY PAINFULLY THOUGH

bi(tch): :)

mama spider: i can't handle the giant puppy being sad

starkplug: i feel like we aren't paying enough attention to the fact that parker called barnes the big scary gay man

_bird man B;) has left the chat_

guyliner: none of you deserve my dick only my babyboy

bi(tch): :D

**  
\-----**

  
supreme hawkeye: heya

guyliner: KATE MY DAUGHTER

supreme hawkeye: PAPA

america ★: im also here

bi(tch): PATRIOTIC DAUGHTER

edgy witch 666™: yes billy nice to hear from you too

starkplug: what a little pissbaby

starkplug: is teddy here

teddy bear: hi

edgy witch 666™: we're getting a divorce

supreme hawkeye: what's a divorce

tommy boy: is that a sex thing

america ★: oh my

guyliner: tommy nice for you to drop by

tommy boy: (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞

edgy witch 666™: no one loves me

teddy bear: i do

bi(tch): are they gonna divorce

**  
\-----**

  
mama spider: james

guyliner: yes

mama spider: care to tell me why your boyfriend is wrestling with lions

guyliner: i have no idea what you're talking about

mama spider: j a m e s

guyliner: thezoodidn'twantthembcthey'regayandoldandstevieandiwerelikesamesowekidnappedthembeforethezoocouldputthemdown

starkplug: they look like puppies play fighting

wanda!: STEVE JUST SAW US WATCHING HIM SO HE PICKED UP ONE OF THE LIONS AND YELLED YOU'LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE THEN BOLTED TOWARDS THE STAIRCASE

baby spider: how did you kidnap lions

guyliner: we hid them in steve's bra

baby spider: ?????¿?

guyliner: cmon you've seen steve's tits

mama spider: what are you planning to do with them

guyliner: wait for it

king kitty: im sure i could take care of them

guyliner: there he is

king kitty: im not usually one to adopt wild animals but if they have been raised in captivity then it would be impossible for them to live in the wild but i can assure they would have all their life necessities with me

bi(tch): THEY'RE EATING PIGEONS

mama spider: how soon can you get them

**Author's Note:**

> yall asked for another texting oneshot so this is your fault


End file.
